Friday, March 26, 2010
It is now less than two weeks before I am scheduled to go "up on the hill" for my treatment. It is hard not to feel like I'm am astronaut preparing for a mission in space. Anticipating the physical strain, the isolation and interruption of normal life, the danger, the unknown... OK maybe I'm being a little overly dramatic, but there is always fear facing the unknown.
Julie did a little searching on "the google" looking for information on my new chemo protocol: BEAM, and discovered this blog about another man's experience with the same procedure that I'm going to go through:
She read to me from some of his posts - specifically about the days he was in the midst of the BEAM protocol - getting the poisons** - and hearing the specifics of how it went for this guy was actually quite reassuring. It sounds like chemo-therapy, which I'm now familiar with and know what to expect. This is MASSIVE chemo-therapy, but, at least it is something I've experienced before.
I know that I can tolerate the poisons pretty well. When you read the list of published side effects for this stuff it is pretty scary, but, my previous chemo experiences mostly made me feel exhausted - fatigued. I can get through that. It sucks, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody, but if you know there is a positive outcome ahead, you can get through it.
** I love whole euphemism of the term "Chemo-Therapy" - what they are putting in you isn't therapeutic - it's POISON! Why do you think the nurses put on all this protective gear when they bring it to you.. they don't want to get any of that therapeutic stuff on THEM!