Showing posts with label Inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Inspiration. Show all posts

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Anniversary!





Dear Friends:

The last time I posted to this blog I was celebrating my "graduation". My bone marrow transplant was complete and I was let out of the orbit of the medical institutions and the processes.

So now it is my "anniversary".   In fact, today (April 12, 2011) is the one year anniversary of my reboot - my bone marrow transplant.  

Mark 2.0

Today marks 365 days Cancer Free!

I thinks calls for a celebration.... and I mean that specifically <and musically>

I just had a PET Scan last week, and the labs came back "unremarkable".  That is not something you would normally aspire to being called on or judged as, but in the cancer world, this is a really good thing;  I am pleased with the results.

Dear Followers:

I have missed writing in this very specific venue.  And, I wanted to revisit this place again to commemorate the passing of time and to recognize the significance and reverberation of memory that this anniversary brings to me.  

And I wanted to reach out to all of you who have followed and supported me through this process.  Please know that I am well and working and happy and active - with NO lingering signs of damage or anything.  Those of you who are close to me physically/geographically know that, if anything, I am more alive and energetic and healthy than I was before I entered into the world of cancer.

Thanks for following my blog, and, I'm sorry for not writing for a year... my only excuse is that I've been busy.  I've been active and engaged and outside and involved - all the things that life is about.   I love my wife, I am shopping for a new bike, and going to Costa Rica to learn Spanish, and my youngest child is graduating from college, and... 

Well, now my life is boring and just normal.

Like the pathologist's report, it is:  "unremarkable".

May you all be so blessed.










Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The ripple effect



In Geography, we talk about the "fundamental laws" - like in physics - which are stated as:
  1. Everything is related
  2. Near things are more related than far things
  3. ***(see below)
Another way of saying this is: "distance matters". A lot of geographic analysis is based on measuring how well stuff either follows these laws, or, often more interesting, how stuff doesn't follow the law. What is immediately around you profoundly effects you - and you can have a measurable effect on your immediate neighborhood too. So I've been thinking about this because of bread.

I talked about our bread project on the blog the other day. The one where with the application of long, luxurious time, one can build a beautiful complex bread out of just a little yeast, flour and water. Well, I'm here to confess that it was a bit of a failure - mostly due to how unusually cold it is outside! Our yeast never did take off, which I guess is kind of an example of a lack of a ripple effect (note: we will persevere with another attempt tomorrow - stay tuned).

But, never worry, the day is saved (or dinner is saved anyway) by the great news I got from my "coach" and Nurse Practitioner Carol Jacoby at OHSU today: that I'm healthy enough - with sufficiently high blood counts - to be able to bend the "low bacteria diet" rules a bit. Specifically, I told her that I live just blocks from a really good bakery (the Fluer De Lis in Hollywood), and, could I possibly get baked goods from them? (The rules of the diet says that all bread has to be prepared in "commercial facilities and covered in cellophane or plastic wrap"). She also allowed that getting an espresso at a coffee shop was also OK under her interpretation - they are pouring boiling water over the beans after all!

Anyway. Julie and Carol went shopping for dinner, and stopped in at the bakery to pick up my favorite Olive Ciabatta. Turns out they were out of them - or rather - that they only make them on weekends now because, as Heather, our familiar cashier said: "since your husband isn't coming in every night to get his loaf". She then asked about me, and how the Bone Marrow Transplant had gone.... Somehow, through the local grapevine, my bakery learned what I was going through (I'm pretty sure I didn't tell them). How they found out I'm not sure - but we have a pretty tight neighborhood and the bakery is a natural gathering spot for folks. Oh, and, it is the closest one to my house.

So maybe this is kind of a little slice of "It's a Wonderful Life" where I'm seeing what the effect of my life has on the city and the local economy ... GASP! No Olive Ciabatta on Weekdays! (picture Jimmy Stewart stumbling out of the bakery wide eyed and desperate...running in his rumpled suit - arms and legs flailing - down the dark, snowy - black and white only - streets)

We all have a ripple effect in our universe of family, friends, neighbors and all our associations - some of them are emotional, some more practical, some are economic, some biological (cover your mouth when you cough!) - or usually some mysterious combination of these.

(Come to think of it, I better check in on the bartender at Moon and Sixpence - he's is probably scaling back a bit lately too...)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Ripple by the Grateful Dead.
I've never been a "deadhead" particularly, but, really, is there a sweeter song to go with this theme? I like this live version a lot - Gerry's solo guitar starts to really soar toward the end, and, the vocals are so sincere and, while not perfect, certainly earnest.

;-) enjoy.


***
BTW: The 3rd law of Geography is:

The area of interest is at the intersection of 2 or more map sheets.

Friday, April 30, 2010

April Showers



The weatherman said that April was one of the rainiest on record. (Thursday was the 24th day this month with measurable rain - tied with April 2003).

Today is May Day - and I'm really looking forward to "May Flowers", but, frankly, where would we PUT more flowers? There is such an abundance already! The weather promises to warm up tomorrow - and I'm hoping to spend some time in the backyard, soaking up some outdoor air and sun.

Julie has lined up people to come visit over the next couple of weeks while I continue to need "monitoring"; her Sister Carol from Chicago, and our dear friend Kitty from LA will be with us for the next two weeks.

So I'm a available for "viewing" if you are healthy and would like to drop by and say hi. I am still pretty slow and low, but it does brighten my mood to see friends. Just check with Julie - "the gatekeeper" first ok?

And Happy May Day!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Day + 15: Morning has broken!



Today I actually went for a walk OUTSIDE for the first time in weeks. After a night of rain the sun appeared this morning and we took advantage and walked up to Grant Park in the sweet, clean air. Everything is in bloom right now - it is an over abundance of color and show. I am particularly happy to be "out" when the Lilacs are in bloom!



DETAILS DETAILS:
Now that I'm home, I am pretty much untethered from all the "support" that I was given in the hospital - except for a regimen of pills and an antibiotic "infusion" that is somewhat technical and tedious to deliver. I still have a PICC line in my arm, that is used to draw blood and infuse drugs and blood products. At the hospital, this was all administered by the professional nursing staff. At home, Julie and I are now in charge of this technology! A kaiser home health care nurse came over on Sunday and gave us detailed (she was here for an hour and a half!) instructions on how to set it up and deliver it. We have to do the infusion every 8 hours - which keeps me somewhat on a hospital like schedule (i.e. sleeping "through the night" is kind of a relative concept).

The other part of my new reality is visiting "the hill" every couple of days to get my blood drawn to analyze the progress of my recovery. I visit the infusion room at the hospital and sit in a giant chair and wait for the lab results to determine what it is I need in terms of support.

The good news so far: I went in for the first time today, and they sent me home because my counts were stable - so I didn't need any additional support. YEAH! (Actually, my white cell count had dropped since Sunday from 3.0 - 2.6, and my platelets and red cell counts haven't budged upward yet... but this was considered stable and normal, so they sent me home!).

I have a couple of other odd appts coming up as well: following up with my Radiation treatment team at Kaiser, and Dr. Lo, the Ophthalmologist who was treating my eyes with injection "therapy" early in my treatment.

So my life is still pretty securely tethered to the hospital and the drugs and the reality of my treatment. But, it is all so much easier to tolerate and accept while working from the comfort of my home and family (and my faithful dog who is always ready to nap right next to me no matter what!).

Friday, April 23, 2010

Day +11 Homeward Bound!


Homeward Bound (Another part of my musical life flashing before me - this was probably the first vinyl I ever owned... and now this song sounds particularly sweet to me).

First thing this morning my doctor brought the news that my counts have begun to climb. This is huge. It means that the procedure has actually "taken" and my body is producing its own cells again. Mark 2.0!

The actual numbers are rather small and insignificant, but the trend is in the right direction: Upward and onward!

If all goes well - meaning if I continue on this course for the next couple of days - it looks like I can go home on Monday - which would be day +14 - the earliest possible time frame that the Dr's have seen!

So I am happy, and humbled and full of gratitude for the process and the people who've got me here.

Blessings on you all!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Playlist from the Sky Lounge



I've had some nice opportunities to play music while I've been in residence at the "sky lounge". My musical friends and family have visited and shared some songs over the last couple weeks. I thought I'd pull together - my best recollection anyway - of what we played.

(Note: these are hyperlinked to a popup player version of the song from LALA.COM)

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Day + 5 Rock on!



Claire is visiting this weekend, and we are tearing it up on the "sky lounge". She brought some crayons and coloring books, and, well, a Rock and Roll Attitude. And in this business, Attitude is everything!

As anticipated, my counts are dropping precipitately - my White Cell count is at 0.2 at the moment (it can go as low as 0.0). So all this means is the process is working. Staff are standing by and prepared for any additional support I might need - a transfusion - some antibiotics etc.

And as we speak, there is a cool rain shower passing over the city. I'll keep my eyes open for a rainbow!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Day + 1: The First Day




Today is the first day of the rest of your life right? Isn't that cliche? But true! So today is Day +1 for me. The first day with my new stem cells working their way to the bone marrow to make new cells. It is a fascinating process; amazing really. I am humbled by the science and I am grateful as well.


So I was reminded of this lovely old Richie Havens song, but I can't find any video of it on the WHOLE Internet! It is from his Stonehenge album from (gulp) 1970! Anyway, it is a real treasure and it just seems to fit my mood today:


It could be the first day...
When dreams are once again the things that I will have to say

and with my next days

I'll learn the secrets of the games I've often had to play
and when I finally settle down to where my spirit can be found
I will call up all my friends
to say I finally see the end

It could be the last day...
to live within the places where I've often longed to stay
It could be the last way

To live among the things that I've often thought the way

And when I finally realize
and try my new day on for size
I will call on all my friends
to say I finally see my eyes

It could be the first day It could be the last day
It could be the first day It could be the last day


OK. In searching out this song on YouTube, I did find a really precious performance by Richie Havens from Sesame Street... please enjoy this beautiful song.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Rocket Man



Rocket Man : I've been singing this song today...

It is a nice place to be up high in the air here at OHSU, but, I definitely am becoming the boy in the bubble. Julie and I just went for a walk and it was strange to be out in the air and the wind and with people and bikes and buses and birds around. Open the Pod doors HAL....

Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Beethoven String Quartets



My musical mentor and hero, Sue Jensen, told me the last time I was in chemotherapy to "surround yourself with great music". She suggested Bach's B minor mass. So I got the score from the library and purchased a nice recording of it on iTunes. I found it was a great comfort and a good meditative practice to help focus on something more, well, divine, than what my chemo stomach was talking to me about at any given moment.

This time around, I've been focusing on another wonderful series of works - or opera (plural of opus - thank you very much Carol!) - the Beethoven string quartets. Due to the generosity and general greatness of my in-law's the Ballou's of Chicago, I now have the complete quartets loaded on my iPad (! - more on that little distraction later) and, even more remarkably, am able to follow along with the score that Ted sent a long from an 1895 publication that belonged to his Grandmother. Wow! Spanning three centuries of technology and art!

In addition to the above, I've also got a series of lectures on the quartets, (provided, again, thank you Ballou's!) from the Teaching Company. So, even though there won't be a real test at the end of my study, you can feel free to ask me anything about Ludwig and the quartets... at least until "chemo brain" sets in and then I'm not responsible for the content.... ;-)

The quartets are a remarkable piece of work that spans Beethoven's entire career and tell a very dramatic story of the development of the master's mind and creative inner life. And they are very beautiful as well.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Block that metaphor!



So the symbolism of having my procedure scheduled for Easter Sunday was not lost on me (though now it is scheduled for a couple days after). The idea of getting my body "rebooted" at Easter is a simple leap to the core Christian concept of Resurrection.

And of course it is also spring, and evidence of rebirth is everywhere - the cherry blossoms have come and gone - little lambs and chicks robin's eggs - crocus and daffodils etc etc...

I get it OK? No need to hit me over the head with it.

So, in the last few days I've had to "restore" my iPhone due to a mysterious hardware failure. It suddenly would not function as a phone - no carrier signal/no bars.

I spent a couple of painful cycles of trying to reboot the iPhone, popping SIM card in and out, and doing a "restore" from software. Needless to say, while watching the little blue bar filling the bar slowly from left to right, I couldn't help but think of the process of recovering "myself" in the transplant that I'm facing - day "zero" is likely Monday April 12th.

Finally I visited the AT&T store and got a new card - which seemed to work - when I was in the store... and then failed again as soon as I walked outside.

At the Genius Bar at the Apple store the next day, the guy did some diagnostics on my phone and "couldn't detect anything wrong", but felt that overall the unit looked to be "in great shape" so he chose to replace it with a new unit. (Note: those two phrases in quotes are exactly what they've been saying about me in the medical realm - that there's no trace of disease and that I'm young and healthy).

So, again: I get it already!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Columbia Gorge


Happy first day of Spring! Julie and I are heading out to hike in the gorge...and spend the night at Skamania lodge. Yeah! Best wishes to you all.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Quotations

OK, here's a new topic/category to take on: Quotations!

There are so many and so many are - actually - inspiring. Please send along or comment on this thread if you have any particular favorites that you'd like to share - I guess restricted to somewhat life affirming and uplifting topics that you think might be, well, affirming and uplifting to someone in m position.

So here's the first one, attributed to Martin Luther King Jr., (though my limited Internet serches can't reliably attribute this to Dr King; anyway it is a cool image that I have to come to grips with somehow anyway:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"Like a traveler on a train we can put down our bags. We can relax our grip and trust in the unfolding of life. Do not worry. There is a web of life into which we are born, from which we can never fall. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny."

Martin Luther King Jr. (alleged)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Sunday, February 28, 2010

Beach Bliss



What a glorious weekend at the beach! We stayed in Oceanside at a friend's cabin, and enjoyed every kind of weather - sideways rain and spectacular sun.

The northern Oregon coast is a powerful and beautiful place. It was very nostalgic for me to visit some of the places I remember from this area: Netarts specifically. I spent a couple of summer weeks there as a boy... and Cape Lookout where I did Boy Scout camp and, as a freshman in high school - I rode my bike there from Portland (reach the Beach!) with the Grant High bike club.

I do think the salt and the spray and the whole environment was very healing for me. I napped every afternoon, and I poured through a wonderful novel (To Siberia by Per Petterson). My eyes are getting better, but they are still sore and stingy from the radiation...

... but the beach worked its magic, and I feel better for being there.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

You can never hold back spring!



So, what can I say? This is an inspiring - beautiful season in Oregon. I was originally thinking I would be done with my transplant operation by now... but I am enjoying being out and about in this lovely springtime. My aplogies to those of you in the east and midwest.. but it got up to 60 degrees here yesterday. The crocus and daffodils and all the other spring blossoms are popping up all over. Wonderful and uplifting....

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

OK, so it is not just about the scones....

In Portland, there is a lot going on about the coffee...

This picture of caffeine d'art is from a lovely coffee shop called the Happy Rock Coffee Roastery in Gladstone, OR...

This place is church.

These pours are perfect. Somebody say Amen!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Working With Time

Our super-cool neighbors - Karla and Scott - recommended/loaned us a DVD that they got from the library about this artist - Andy Goldsworthy. The name of the DVD is "Rivers and Tides". It's fascinating.


We are all "working with time" and this video and this person are a great reminder of how we walk through this world briefly - but that our actions, and even our intentions, are permanent , and part of the whole.

I recommend the video - the images are just gorgeous to look at... and the spirit is spot-on. Otherwise, one should check out the artist at:

http://www.goldsworthy.cc.gla.ac.uk/

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Inspiring NYTimes article

This guy's gone through a lot and writes well about what it is like to go through the fear and uncertainty..... And he's my same age - gulp!

NYTimes article: living-in-the-post-cancer-moment
By Dana Jennings

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/02/living-in-the-post-cancer-moment/

Friday, January 15, 2010

Inspiring story on NPR...

This story aired last week on NPR about this athlete who is about to undergo a Bone Marrow Transplant:

Click here for NPR Story

The Median Isn't the Message


This is a wonderful essay by one of my favorite authors, Stephen Jay Gould. It is inspiring message, and especially important to keep in mind when navigating the seas of statistics.

Click here to read The Median is not the message on www.cancerguide.org

(http://cancerguide.org/median_not_msg.html)